I HAVE had the same Valentine for the past 22 years. And now that I reflect on it, he is probably the best man to have as a Valentine.
By Ratna Tiwary
03 February 2007
I HAVE had the same Valentine for the past 22 years. And now that I reflect on it, he is probably the best man to have as a Valentine.
You see, 14 Feb is my father's birthday.
So understandably, he's been my companion every year on that day.
After years of wishing I could go out with friends on that day - I have never spent it with a boyfriend - this year, I'm actually looking forward to spending quality time with my papa.
A father-daughter relationship is a special one.
And I agree with all those who say that women look for their fathers in their partners.
PILLAR OF STRENGTH
My father is a strong man. Not in the sense that he is Samson-like, but he has always dealt with life in a manner that makes me admire him.
This dawned on me only after my teenage years - which was not too long ago. During those years though, I suppressed all positive feelings about him and spent my time trying to paint him in big-bad-wolf shades.
How is it that in the rush to grow up, and then in the fight to not grow old so soon, a girl's father often gets forgotten?
Faith Hill sang a song entitled Daddy's Little Girl, which aptly sums up this relationship:
'He's a book of advice/More than I need/The look in his eyes is saying to me/Let me help you all I can/While I'm still in this world'.
Yes, my father is a big man, always there for me.
I know papa looks stern all the time and makes valiant attempts to scare away friends of mine whom he deems undesirable.
But I also remember that this is the same man who took me out daily when I was feeling left out after my brother was born. He also bought me dolls to make sure I had a 'new baby' too.
He's the same man who now buys me Cacharel perfume from the duty-free shop every time he goes out of the country, and reads my academic articles when once, he read my fumbling teenage poetry.
Is it not surprising how, in the blur of day-to-day commitments, we often forget those who matter the most to us?
In the quest to celebrate special occasions with friends, how often do we stop to remember that these celebrations are also meant to be spent with our families?
SIMPLE CELEBRATION
It doesn't have to be elaborate, expensive or held overseas. It just has to be a time to get together.I remember papa's past 22 birthdays that we spent together, and that warm feeling of it being an important day for the most important man in my life.
Friends and lovers come and go, but deep in my heart, I know that be it a scraped knee or a broken heart, papa will always be there.
I think it's simply perfect that Valentine's Day also marks the birth of the man who, to me at least, personifies love.
Happy birthday in advance, papa, my Valentine forever.
The writer is an undergraduate in Political Science and South Asian studies from NUS.
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