Respect!

I’m a grown up now! My parents left me with my siblings and went on a ten-day holiday; and I survived! I managed to wake up to send my brother to school, myself off to work, buy groceries and make it home early enough to watch my brother complete his homework and still cook dinner and coax him to eat green leafy (albeit icky) veggies (I had to eat them too, to set a good example)!


I did not collapse in hysteria, nor did I lose my mind juggling all this! The only major shift that took place was in my mind, I realised just how much my mother manages to accomplish on a daily basis as a domestic-manager! It looks so very easy from the outside to sit at home and watch soap-operas (or Hindi soap-serials in this case), while the house cleans itself! Well, in my parents’ absence, I learnt that the house does not self-clean! Rags, brooms and mops need to be wielded with two hands, and it is not beneath me to do those chores, no matter how educated, well-read, cultured and independent I may be.


My parents’ trip, while a break for them; was certainly an eye-opener for me! Not just have I learnt to respect my mother a hundred times more; but I’ve developed a healthy respect for maids as well! Some of them come to Singapore far younger than me to be domestics, and although they must have dealt with their share of chores back home; it is always different in a stranger’s house!


I know of employers who will deduct the price of broken crockery or scratched Teflon (happens when a scourer meets the face of a non-stick pan; a concept not familiar in the rural villages where most of our household help comes from, and something most employers don’t bother to explain) from the wages of their maids. While I understand the concept of paying for mistakes, I think this is too literal an application of it.


Not so long ago, it was a big deal in the press about mandatory days of leave for maids; well as an employed person, I realise the importance of some break time. While all jobs, domestic work included, have downtime, where things are not as rushed, this is far from sufficient for the human mind and body to relax and rejuvenate for more work. It is in such moments that mistakes happen and glasses break. Domestic workers will find it difficult to comprehend a glass costing more than their monthly wage; crystal holds little meaning, especially if they are not forewarned of the consequences and told to take extra care when washing certain dishes.


I don’t think I would like to have the help of a maid when I have set-up home, and especially not a live-in maid. I am not ready for the responsibility of having another human being living with me and having to worry about her eating habits and dietary needs. It would be most unfair on my part to employ a maid and expect her to conform to my eating habits (I dislike most meat and am a largely bread person). I know of Chinese families who love pork and do not make alternate eating arrangements for their Muslim house-help; sometimes leaving them with little other than plain rice.


While I don’t claim to be a perfect person, or very morally-upright; these 10 days without my parents has drawn me out of my mother’s sheltered veil; and away from her apron-strings, I’ve begun to see the darker shades of life and the world a little more clearly. Many people I know are setting up home and a maid is a mandatory addition to their homes, whether needed or not. Many of my compatriots feel it beneath them to mop the floor once in a while; and a maid is almost a status-symbol of their bourgeois lifestyles.


When my parents return home, I know that I am going to make a far greater effort to help her out with little chores, for anyone who takes care of me and my household (be it mother, grand-parent, or hired help) must have an amazing level of patience; and is more than worthy of my respect.